During my first clinical rotation as a NP student, I was originally going to be with and older doctor whom I really admired.  Less than 1 month before starting clinicals and classes I called to confirm, and I was in panic because I was told sorry we forgot  and your spot was given to a med student. I was at work, went to the cafeteria and ran into our former house super, now an NP. I asked if I could do my first clinical rotation with him…and he said yes!!!   I was very nervous, and thankfully, he was kind and thorough as a preceptor.  What I didn’t know is I would learn more from him than my original first choice.  He gave a compliment to my clinical supervisor/liaison telling her I was so good he kept forgetting it was my first rotation.  I hung on to that when I got nervous, which was often.  I was getting by on very little sleep, working full time nights, classes and clinicals during the day, living on sugarfree energy drinks and coffee, a diabetic diagnosed in 2020….But that clinical rotation was leading me to everything I wanted to be….and it was the most fun I ever had working for free.  Small miracles every day!  I was interviewing, assessing, formulating a plan or care, differential diagnoses, tests. I knew I was missing something when he would ask what made me choose the direction I was going in.  It was wonderful and nerve wracking, because not only did I worry about missing something, but I equated missing something with failure, when really, it was a learning curve.    During this process, I also realized yes this was my mountain, my path, and he could help, if I could just get out of my own way.  I was fully invested, in a way I never had been before, and I would be taking the best parts of my preceptors, mentors, heroes and myself to create a new way of helping those I could…And learning how to forgive myself and others along the way.