Its been quite some time since my last post. I have a dilemma because the same things I would write about to help others could potentially hurt me. As an Aspie, and an RN, I have struggled much more in some ways than a neurotypical. In some ways, I also have some superpowers, that help level the playing field. Most of those superpowers are not Aspie, but coming from a place of finding my way back from abuse, rape, cancer, 2 motorcycle accidents, scarcity and poverty, and finding out how to use those things I considered broken to heal others and be their strength. In doing so, I healed myself. enough to see the rest of the work I need to do, and how to get there. I have now been a nurse for 4 years, 8 months and 1 day. In that time, my journey has been one of fear versus faith, integrity, and finding my way by jumping forward, and recognizing the hardest work yields the biggest rewards.
I have since then gotten my BSN, and have been accepted into the FNP program. I still work in Med Surg/Med Tele, but have floated to the ED, OB, CDU, and Ortho. I have been a member of the fall prevention committee, and have guest lectured at the same college I got my ADN through. I went to Cambodia and explored Angkor Wat, and all the temple ruins…Before that, I traveled to Israel and walked where Jesus had been. These are miracles if you knew me. There is a way being made for me, and a path through to achieving my goals and helping people, and I am learning to trust in that.
I am still deciding how much of my story to share, because the internet is forever, as we all know…But I am thinking the benefits of sharing outweigh the risks. If it helps anyone at all, it is worth putting it out there. Mine is a path of shifting sands, losing and finding balance, and a clumsy kind of grace, and realizing I can become the guide I wish I had when I was younger. I wish anyone reading this grace and peace, and the help along the way you need.